lil' bro, part duex

So my living room is still his make-shift bedroom and he is still jobless with his damn Xbox controller stuck in hand, like if he lets it go, the world might implode. And I just got informed today that he has $2 left (my parents originally gave him $90 last Sunday). So in the matter of 10 days, he spend $88, which I guess isn't all that much. But like I said last post, I'm leaving for the weekend and there's barely any food in the house because the kid can eat.

The shelf where I keep all my snacks like chips, cheese curls, pudding, apple sauce, pretzels, etc hasn't been bare since the day I moved it. I'm able to make a bag of potato chips last at least 3 weeks. But since my brother's been here, I can now see the bottom of the shelf. In the 10 days he's been here, he's managed to eat almost all my snack food that would have taken me weeks to finish.

And last Monday, the 23rd, him and I went to the grocery store spending $120 (which is a hell of a lot more than I normally spend, and if I do spend this much, it usually lasts me a good month and a half). But my freezer is almost bare, except for the box of Popsicles I bought, a bottle of Rum and a generic brand frozen pizza (because I told him he had to spend his money wisely and getting name-brand pizza was out of his budget). My fridge has a gallon of milk, three eggs, some random juice, yogurt that I've told him he's not allowed to touch, and a door full of random condiments. There's a few Cup-of-Noodles in my cabinet, along with a few cans of Chef Boyardee and a box of Velveeta macaroni. So with his $2 and the random assortment of food in my house, I have no idea what he's going to eat this weekend while I'm gone.

I feel like I'm in the dorms again and I have to hide my food from my roommate, in fear of it getting eaten without my knowledge.

And just yesterday, he decided he was going to give college a try. He researched schools that were reputable in game design and sent away for more information. But I feel that this is just an easy out for him, like he doesn't want to get a job so why not go to school where mom and dad can keep giving him money, but they won't. He moved here to get away from them because they realized they couldn't keep buying him cigarettes and food just so he could fill his bedroom with smoke and play video games all day. Doesn't he see me working, going to school and doing homework? It's not that easy. I can't stop him, and I won't. If this is a huge mistake, let him figure it out on his own. Maybe, just maybe, he'll do really well and he'll be successful in the game world. God knows the fucking controller never leaves his hand.

So now he's decided that it's pointless to stay here if he's going to attempt to apply for school. How the hell does he expect to get home on $2 though? When I asked him what he was going to do about food this weekend, he told me "I don't care. I'm leaving soon anyway." Does he think he's leaving tomorrow? Is he out of his fucking mind?

Nevertheless, I can't waste time stressing about him. I've given him more thought lately than I have school and work, and that's absolutely absurd.

might as well...

I might as well put a picture up so when I go on about how in love I am and ya'll want to slap me, you'll know who I'm talking about.

is it the weekend yet?

It's Monday but I'm waiting for Thursday. Reason? Love.

A few months ago, my boyfriend and I started dating and I've been sublimely happy ever since. I can't remember anyone ever making me feel this good about myself. It sounds so cliche and corny, but it's true. He pushes me harder than anyone ever has. He makes me smile when I'm bitching about something. And when we do argue, we quickly fix any problem with a laugh and the dismissal of the issue. Most people were skeptical about us dating; he still lives at home in Pennsylvania and he's out of school, being a grown up, but it's been great since day one.

So over the past few months, I've fallen hard for him. We obviously don't get to see each other as often as we like, but the phone has gained even more popularity in my life and it seems that it's always pressed to my ear. But when we do get to see each other, it's always an anticipated event. I got to spend my spring break with him and it's only been a little over a week since I last saw him, but we're both stupidly counting down until Thursday, which is our next reunion.

Thursday, I go to Philadelphia, about an hour from my house. Friday, my boyfriend and I are going to Baltimore for the weekend, and I'm psyched :) It's for his fraternity, but its definitely going to be a great time spending a weekend away with him. (And I'm also looking forward to going to the Baltimore Aquarium.)

What I'm most looking forward to is what most couples take for granted: holding hands, talking in person, seeing the other person smile, having his arms around me while I'm sleeping. I get more upset seeing couples hold hands and just being in the same physical place as each other than anything else. Why can't him and I do that too??

Well this weekend, we will. We will be that couple that I would normally get pissed about. I would normally hate myself and want to say something shitty behind my back, but this weekend it's about him and I. Finally. About fucking time. And so my countdown to Thursday is on...

rain, rain, go away

It's a Saturday night at 8:38pm and I'm already in my sweats with no make-up on. The reason? Rain. Well that, and the fact that I have about $10 to my name right now. What fun would it be to run from bar to bar and not even have money to drink?

Rainy days always seem to make me think too much. It gives me the opportunity to let my mind wonder to things I don't normally think about. And most of the time it results in me being homesick and missing my friends, boyfriend and mom. I'm 21 and I've been living 12 hours away from home for almost 3 years now, you'd think I was used to this or something. Yeah right. I don't think I'll ever get used to it. But the funny part is, I would probably be unhappy at home because there's not much going on there. And when I graduate, the last place I want to go is home. I really wouldn't call my issue homesickness, but maybe more missing-my-boyfriend-mom-and-friends-sickness.

These people have helped define me and create the person I am. I've gained all my qualities - good and bad - from my friends, boyfriend and my parents and when I miss them, I really miss them. Like that cliched aching; all I want is to have one of them with me.

And when I miss people from home, you'd think having my brother here would help, but guess again. It makes me more stressed. I can't go watch a movie on my sofa downstairs in my living room because it's now my brother's pseudo bedroom. I get into these don't-fuck-with-me-but-let-me-do-my-own-god-damn-thing moods and having him in my personal space is more stressful. He hardly leaves the house. I invited him out with me last night to hang out with my friends, and he opted to stay home instead. Ugh! And I've pretty much exhausted everything we can talk about. He actually told me I talk too much.

So it's still raining. And if it wasn't dark out, I'd go for a run. Or if it wasn't about closing time, I'd go walk around the mall or Target. But alas, it's almost 9pm and stores are closed and it's dark out. And I'm missing my favorite people.

And I feel like a baby. I feel like crying and complaining and bitching makes me immature and pathetic. But I can't help it. I'd give almost anything to get a kiss from my boyfriend or a hug from my mom or a smile from my best friends. And the even more pathetic part is that I'm going home on Thursday (in 5 days!!) and I still miss them like WOAH!

So on this certain Saturday night, I'll enjoy being alone in my sweats with a bottle of wine and watch TV in bed. Cheers!

lil' bro in the house

So I came back to Savannah last week after Spring Break, and my younger brother decided he was coming along. Our home life has been strange, to say the least, because my parents dislike each other/love each other more often than not. He graduated from high school last year and decided he was going to be successful living in my parent's house, not having a job, and constantly playing his Xbox. Sounds promising, doesn't it? Well we've all been on his case about how he's slowly turning into this fuck-up and how he should be a little determined to do something more than bum off my parents for the rest of their lives. And he finally did.

He decided the best option for him is to get away. Yes, it sounds like a good idea, except the only place he could really get away to is Savannah, with me. We've only been back for 5 days and we fight almost everyday. I feel more like his mother than a big sister. I shouldn't have to lecture him or wake him up or badger him to go find a job. He is not my fucking child, and if he was, I would have kicked him out months ago.

Between my parents, my boyfriend and me, we have tried our best at looking for jobs online for him. I've made him walk around Savannah and put applications in wherever possible. I helped him bullshit a resume. I'd driven him places (oh yea, because he doesn't have a car). And then today he had the fucking balls to tell me he "should have gotten his own place." HA!

I told him today that he could help contribute by taking my dog out more than once every two days, and that he's wasting my electric by watching TV and playing Xbox at the same time, and that he needs to get out of the house and be productive, and he got pissy like a 13 year old girl and told me he "should have gotten his own place." With what fucking money?

He thinks this is all so easy. If living on your own is so easy, then why didn't he do it before? He's using my futon as a bed, my oven and microwave to cook, my sheets and blankets to sleep with, my refrigerator to keep his food and drinks cold, my TV, my bathroom and my internet.

I know last post I preached being nice and happy and optimistic, and I am. I really hope he gets a job down here. I really hope he can prove everyone wrong and he can succeed on his own. I really do. But don't ever take advantage of my niceness. He needs to appreciate that I don't have to do any of this for him.

Let's just say that if he isn't employed, contributing to the bills and getting out of the house more within the next two or three weeks, that Xbox will get locked in my car and his clothing will be on my front porch. We'll see what happens...

welcome

Hi. Hello. Hey. Hola.

Welcome to my blog. That Blonde Girl will entertain you with the stories of my life. Each day I try to make it the best and I put on the cheesiest smile I can so everyone else has something to smile at. I am the ultimate optimist, the girl most people want to punch in the face because I try to find good in all situations. Of course I bitch about stuff and of course I cry and complain, but only when it absolutely needs to be done (which you will surely find out).

Everyone only has one life, why not live it to the fullest. Your life can be fucking great. My life can be fucking great. But only we can make it that way. Go for it. Go out and make your life as fucking great as you can.

"Your life is an occasion, Rise to it." -Dustin Hoffman